I've rediscovered my emotions. Went through a stage when I had just about none. Most importantly I've found the things that really make me upset.
On that note, I'm not one for a pity party and there are many things I miss, and I've realised (being the year of many realisations) that I'm the one who put myself on this constant road of discovery so I have to make the most of it.
Saying bye bye to July now. You were a really nice month a little bit strange for me because you were completely unplanned but still, had a good time.
When we were with family during the holiday we spent the one evening watching this man and his team do musical masterly on the stage. Falling asleep listening to this. Then waking up the next morning to a puppy biting my toes off.
So basically I'm loving old talent and old people at the moment.
When we lived in Joburg I was nicely unaware of anything but always questioned, never asked why because that didn't seem like the right question, but rather why not. or I didn't say anything.
My dream and everything was to be my mother which included me hardly ever leaving her side or sight. If it was now you could have called me an attachment to my mothers leg. On certain days if anyone tried to touch or even look at me they would get a look down by me and I'd gab onto her. My favourite was her skirts, they seemed the best to hide behind. Then came trying to get me to go to pre school, had to be ushered into that, without my knowledge of course I got a sweet when I'd finished crying. So soon the crying stopped and school started.
From then on I think I was quite the happy child.
My next question, to my mother: "What music did you listen to when you were little?"
I think I was about 7 or 8 when this ground breaking question was asked. Only to be completely confused by the answer of "I don't know" or "we didn't". That was confusion.
But as persistent as an only daughter can be I asked on and got an answer:
Enter:
Which was basically everything my dad had played for us but in a females voice. and ba bang, I started to sing along. Well, that is the time frame I remember.
Right now on track 9 - Lily, Rosemary & The Jack of Hearts.
Reminds me of our old curtains or where our couches used to be. Or our lounge to be precise and the the smell of dust, but I think that might be because of the CD player that we used. This might have also started my love for playing card games, butterflies and the constant nag I have to make sure that everyone else is alright.
"no nothing could ever come between the Lily and her Jack of Hearts"
Rosemary did not make it to the end of the song. Listening to it now again this is a very bleak song.
Didn't seem to worry me cause it was a good skipping or spinning song.
ok. the song is almost 9minutes long. There is possibility that I stopped listening to the verse and only sang a long to the chorus.
next on the list is:
I remember being like wait I know this. Where are the words. Why are there no worlds, what are the words?
Then the annoying air pipe things would irritate me so the first song was never listened to. One of the reasons why I'm very picky over who does a Simon and Garfunkel cover, it can be done very badly. I think I made a point of never putting this CD in. Or I'd skip to track 3. Wake up Little Susie.
[I should add here that our kitten/now teenager cat has taken it upon himself to be the defender of our house, cat fight happening right now]
From there on I learnt every word or the tune really well. Right now its reminding me of when I did pilates which usually turned into me attempting not to laugh while finding my inner core muscles cause Celtic music can get very repetitive.
enough of that
the next CD I found this morning was:
I have never seen West Side Story. I'm not too sure I even know the actual Story but I know the music.
I'm going to say that this lead me straight into my love for swing music. And the fashion and everything that goes into it. And now that I've googled it I see that the music has been everywhere.
June used to mean the end of the middle of the year. Teachers filling your head with what seems silly and gearing up for exams. Last year June was us (South Africa) gearing up for the World Cup.
For me, June is means touching base. The mix of the winter and the cabin fever leads to walks down many lanes of winter pasts. Old remedies to fight the cold in form of food, clothing and shelter.
Or, exam/crunch time: what must get done before an hour of studying is done:
study time table (colour coordinated with weekend plans clearly marked)
tea
re arrange desk
fire
feed any animal in house
tea
computer
tea
stoke fire
re do study time table cause you realized missed out on a must attend event
save cat from amazing sleep
tea
fire
feed yourself
look at books and study for about 45mins then,
"i think i need more tea"
Then this amazing thing happens, well for me
among all the grumbling of cold fingers, toes and noses.
there is always that one day. The day when the sun does shine, it may be an ineffective sunshine, you'll have to stand in the "light" for about 5 minutes to feel any defrosting happen but alas. you breath the breath of mist and your face appreciated the sunshine.
cause once he can check your bad editing and spelling mistakes you want to make everything perfect.
:)
here is a song that i'm liking a lot at the moment.
.
It’s a tired summer morning because the days are so long laying outside in the grass eating corndogs in the sun
As the cigarette ash lays in mountains on the earth spend all your money on gas just to go fast in reverse
and as my Mom told me son you better organize your life
and as my Dad told me son you better organize your life
and as my Sister told me brother I think that you’re alright
Thank you, I think I’m alright too
....
I like to wash my car with my eighties clothes attached though it is no longer the eighties you know I wish I could go back
Back to being born again and have a second chance at life and then I would do the exact same thing because I like to do things twice
....
I do the best I can with this head that I got It’s a mighty fine nice head and it’s got mighty fine nice thoughts
If my brain had legs and it could walk around the block well it would wear a pair of sunglasses and Coppertone sunblock
All the people would be jealous as they saw it walk with style with its spinal cord a-waggin’ and its neurons running wild
But there is no need for braggin’ of all the words that it may speak for there are no lips attached to tell the ideas that it keeps
....
I keep my head above my shoulders that’s the only place it stays I keep my hair on my head until the day that falls away
I keep my pubic hair well trimmed I keep my face very well shaved my toenails are never long because I cut them every day
I walk with my back up to space and a smile on my face
....
I loved a woman once little miss name that’s not unique she was a fag hag and had a black bag where she carried her matchsticks
Then she would strike them off my scruffy beard and all the smoke would get so thick That I would run away she would not stay she had found another prick That little bitch
....
But I keep a place in my heart for all good friends of mine even though we all get old and we get lost in time
You keep me high as mountains and I feel like a fatty tree I hope I’ve helped you out as much as you have helped out me
....
I keep my head above my shoulders that’s the only place it stays I keep my hair on my head until the day that falls away
I keep my pubic hair well trimmed I keep my face very well shaved my toenails are never long because I cut them every day
I walk with my back up to space and a smile on my face